By: Adedara Oduguwa Ph.D
I don’t know what it feels to be covetous, disloyal and lazy. But I have learnt and practiced the acts of hard work, determination, contentment, and courage.
It took me some 22 years to know my father could afford almost anything apart from humans. The impression deposited in us, particularly male children was that of orphans and sons of a-nobody.
At the age of 22, I didn’t have a kobo in my personal account. I don’t lack clothe, food and shelter. Father extended his benevolence to having a vehicle, not solely for pleasure but to fulfill his numerous estate chores.
By the time I was 25, I became aware of the powers in being born into such a noble home, but then, I have mastered simplicity and at that point, it became almost impossible for me to live a flamboyant lifestyle.
I chose to be different, mastered the best parts of my parents and rejecting their weaknesses absolutely and completely.
As a child, I started rejecting boil-meats from father. This was his first encounter with me. He quickly noticed the difference in me and my siblings. I was not pretending about my desire to be different and unique. Father embellished so much trust in me in returns. He would give me millions of naira to count and booked in the bank without any supervision. I was that boy that counts millions but with zero naira in his bank account.
Four incidences happened that taught me integrity, loyalty and contentment:
1. At age 22, I was offered a bribe of 5m naira by one of my uncles who had sold the family land for 68 million naira but needed my support (being the family’s secretary). The money, perhaps, was influenced by one of my other uncle in Lagos who was also offered same amount.
At that period, I worth almost nothing than the air I breath. No kobo in the bank, no degree, nothing but the family name that I bear. I was not moved, but rejected it. I thought of father, and the people that sent us. Till today, my other uncle from Lagos stopped talking to me. He felt I blocked his 5m as a result of my foolishness.
2. Then, at about age 23, one of my elder siblings sold one of father’s construction machines at one of our estates. At the time of sale, father traveled to England. When my brother sold the machine, he came home and offered me some cash. I accepted it because I wanted him to save face. It was around 4pm when the money was brought.
He said ‘ Dara I sold something that belongs to father and felt you should have a share.’
I was damn broke as usual. But the pressure was minimal since I had no girl friends just male friends who at my level I was richer than. I held the money and at around 6:40am, I called my younger brother Adekoyejo and instructed him to return it to my elder brother. He did.
By 7:10am, my brother came and said to me jovially ‘ you fool, you are rejecting money. That’s your problem anyways.’ I didn’t uttered a word in response to that.
Father came, but didn’t go to the said estate until another one month. When he discovered his machine was missing, he asked people around, his gardeners at the estate told him it was my brother that sold it. Dad came back angrily and approached my brother’s mother about what her son did. She instantaneously said:
‘ Have you asked Dara about it?, I think he knows about it.’
Father was shocked!
Dara was his favourite son. He does no wrong. He must be feeling disappointed that I was involved in such looting. At that point, he called for me.
He asked ‘ Dara, what do you know about my machine?’
‘ Sir, it was my brother… that came some weeks ago and said he sold one machine. He offered me XYZ amount but I rejected it because I didn’t know what machine he sold and we didn’t planned selling it together. Sir, I didn’t tell you because he didn’t send me to you. I know today would come, and this I believe is the time to talk.’
Then I faced my elder brother’s mother and said ‘please ma, don’t mention another person’s son name anytime your son stole. I am not a thief and I won’t steal for any reason.’
I left the scene as my response rekindled the hope and trust father had in me. My step-mum felt ashamed of herself and her son.
3. At age 25, while in final year, there was a contract that worth 28m naira we were executing, I was father’s representative, while there was a politician and our driver working with us. We made lots of progress until I was to return back to school.
Our driver then approached me with a juicy offer.
‘ Dara, there are some of the stuffs that Chief is not aware of. Let’s sell three and I will give you 400k to take to school.’_Said our driver.
‘ Sir, thank you for the offer. It’s true I’m broke and father don’t give me more than 10k. But I am not interested in the money. I also wants to beg you not to try stealing any of those things. You know we use soldiers, I won’t want them to waste your life and that of others.’ _I submitted.
‘It is fine, since you don’t approve it that’s the end o. I won’t even dare it.’_Said our driver.
Some days after, a Local has alerted father of some people trying to steal the stuffs. Father called his soldiers and asked me to drive him. We were almost half way when he told me some people were trying to steal his stuffs. I immediately remembered my discussion with our driver. I used one hand to texted him ‘ run away, soldiers coming.’
When we got to the scene, we met all the robbery equipments. The soldiers (12 of them) faced the bush and rained live-bullets into it. I was so scared that they were probably lying inside the tick bush. They later realized no one was there. I was happy again. Later when I saw our driver, he was sobered.
He wept and said ‘ I am so sorry Dara, and you warned me.’
‘But I told you not to. Thank God you got the message, you would be dead by now.’ _I said.
4. I was already aged 29, planning to pick my doctorate degree form. Our most senior house-help had forged father’s signature to unlawfully withdrawn 1m naira from his bank account. The boy was learning Weldering. He had come a day before to dash everyone in the compound 2k each (including father). When he got to my room, he said,
‘ Daro, I want to thank you for everything. I made a huge gain from work. Chief was the one that introduced me to these Chinese. I wish to share part of the money with you for recharge card for all your supports. I have given all the wives and Chief too. This is yours.’_He submitted.
‘ Wow! Thank you for the money. However, how much did you make that you are dashing everyone. Look, take your money and invest it in your job. When you are big, I will collect mine.’ _I said. He begged me to take it but I refused with thanks.
The next day it was reviewed through father’s bank account that the boy had taken a million naira in one week. I was the only person that didn’t take a share of the stolen fund.
Now, these four incidences had taught me that contentment is profitable. Almost all I didn’t have that day, I have in excess today. I don’t want to tell you how everyone that was greedy in these stories ended.
How did I become who I’m today, I don’t know. But I know I seek honour, and integrity than quick-fix, quick-money and shortcut. I have gained so much from self-discipline, self-determination, trust, contentment, loyalty and integrity.
By the time father was planning his exit from this planet, he gave me the privilege to write his Will,something I was also a beneficiary. He told his banker ‘ Dara is my best son.’ And I did the same in all ramifications.
My father was my best friend. The day he died, a part of me accompanied him.